Updated: Feb 16
What do his Holiness the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop Desmond Tutu have in common?
~They have experienced extreme awful and dire life circumstances
~They have found a way to utilize their past experiences for the good of humanity
~They love to laugh
~They live in joy
~They have an incredible bromance - aka a friendship filled with deep love and respect
Both are spiritual superpowers with very different belief systems. How do I know any of this? I am reading their new book, The Book of Joy. It’s profound. The other author Douglas Abrams’, research, combined with the wisdom of these two incredible humans, provides us with an opportunity to upgrade our thinking to find a way to experience joy even in times of sadness and trauma.
According to the Dalai Lama the ‘purpose of life is to find happiness.’
Do you believe you can experience consistent happiness even with all the sad news we hear and talk about?
Could joy be an achievable set point in your mind? Like a dial set at joy or towards joy versus despair. It’s not necessarily easy to accomplish or create this set point but doesn’t that sound uplifting to be able to naturally flow back to joy? ( And not stray too far from it either.)
Research states there are 3 factors that seem to have the greatest influence on increasing our happiness:
1. Our ability to reframe our situation more positively
2. Our ability to experience gratitude
3. Our choice to be kind and generous
If you have been with me for awhile you have heard me mention, there is what happens in life, but it’s how you feel about what happens that determines the direction and focus of your thoughts and mind.
As the Dalai Lama says, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
How you respond is what you can learn to control. How you interpret your experience is going to determine how you feel and how you respond. I recently watched a few of the new episodes of Stranger Things with my adult son. The friend group that had been through a lot of trauma together, believed in themselves enough (self-worth intact) to know how to navigate when a friend crossed a boundary and verbally ‘attacked’ the other person. Instead of reacting with an emotional outburst, feeling like the victim, the character just said, ‘Too far,’ instead of name calling or cursing. (No pun intended)
The beauty of responding resourcefully is the negativity dissolves, instead of adding to your wound or damaging the relationship.
In real life, when a friend or family member insults us, we often take the words personally. In other words, we react intensely because it opens or scratches a wound that hasn’t healed completely. The memory that created the wound could have been yesterday or many years ago. If it’s unresolved, your subconscious automatically brings it into the present situation and boom… You are reacting in the present to your past issues, which makes it much harder for you to respond resourcefully, with grace and truth, to the present situation.
When someone calls you a name or says something inappropriate, it’s usually because that person is out of control, feeling wounded or upset. The bottom line is learning how to respond with grace and truth instead of poison. This benefits you, your life, and humanity. This means if you have something intense to say, do it from the heart, not as an attack but with love and grace. Soften the truth.
Think about these 4 things for a moment:
~Suffering is optional
~Life is happening for you, not to you
~Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want/like
~What could you feel grateful for right now?
Now, you can choose to see the world with happiness as a set point to strive for by setting intentions, getting into an attitude of gratitude, being kind and generous with your time, energy, words, resources, and love. Also remember to speak with grace and truth so your message is heard with love.
Here is some wisdom from the Archbishop,
When God sees you and hears how you try to help Gods children, God smiles. The archbishop was now beaming, and he whispered the word smile as if it was the holy name of God.
Smile now, even if you are pretending. Your body doesn’t know you are pretending. When you smile you release feel good chemicals. When you smile at or towards someone, you light up and they light up. Smiling is a universal language that uplifts, inspires and heals emotionally and physically.
For all you deadheads out there Remember this,
There’s nothing left to do but SMILE, SMILE, SMILE.
With Love and Light and lots of smiles,
P.S. I start the Certified Hypnotist live 6-day training Friday, in Indiana (near Chicago).
Are you interested in enjoying a career helping people smile, heal their history, respond resourcefully and communicate from the heart? It’s an empowering intimate journey and a fabulous way to make a living, while uplifting and inspiring.
Hypnotherapy is truly a game changer for the students and all the people they can help break through past programming and trauma.
Text me, I am interested. 219-929-8726. We will set up a time to chat.